Cirque de la Mort
by Apple Of Eris
Summary: She found Ichigo when he was sad, and he reassured her that she was meant to be there. Therefore, she got strong and trained, trained, trained. He gave her the secret she didn't know. They've been relying on each other since the age of nine, and as the world falls around them, it's doubtful she'll still be afraid to fight to save her friend. (Not SI, eventual AU. Rewriting.)
1. Chapter 1-Insert Cheesy Opening

**Cirque de la Mort= (roughly) Circus of the Death.** Not Circus _of_ Death, but Circus of _the_ Death.

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 **Chapter 1- Insert Cheesy Opening**

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The first thing someone tends to hear is the sound of a parent's voice-or at least it's the sound the first remember hearing. Me? I remember just that - the first time, at least.

It was a fond memory, the only time I remembered my dad singing.

The opposite of those first moments are the last thing one remembers. The lucky ones that live out a full life likely see their loved ones last-even if they don't remember them. The unlucky ones remember something like the barrel of a gun, the glint of a knife, or the grill of a car right before everything disappears.

One thing I've come to know is that this end - death - is not always a finish. The suspicion started with a few anime I loved: Yu Yu Hakusho, Bleach, Angel Beats.

What really drove the theory home was when I actually died myself.

It wasn't anything realy dramatic at all. My house was a two-story place to fit all four children and parents with their parents. I was frequently berated for my speed of running through the house. Of course, nothing had happened yet except for a few bumps and scrapes from my running through the house, so I never learned my lesson.

With the direction my tale is going one would assume I slipped on some tile or fell down the stairs and ended up with a broken neck or an unfortunate too-hard bump to the head. That's not what happened. It's similar, though.

I was running with scissors - no, there was no impalation - because I was going to help my mom wrap presents for dad's birthday. She was getting arthritis in her hand and all of my other siblings were too busy playing video games or being at college.

I ended up slipping on a patch of water in the kitchen that, once again, no one had bothered to clean up because they were either too lazy or didn't make the mess.

I hit the stove arms first and bounced back, landing on my behind. Since we'd gotten the thing, all of my misadventures with clumsiness have failed in even denting the appliance. Though I now had a fresh bruise on my rear end and arms, I climbed back to my feet and began limping towards the connected office with a shout of, "I'm okay!"

By the time I reached mom, she was glaring at me and quietly making sure I wasn't bleeding anywhere.

"I'm fine, momma." I assured with a typical teenage eyeroll.

She shook her head in exasperation and took the offered scissors, beginning her work of the wrapping paper that was going around the new television remote controller (the youngest, James, had lost the other one. We would never find it again) that was in a fantastic flower print.

"Alex, can you go call my mom and ask her to grab some milk on the way back from her meeting?" Mom was speaking to my older brother.

He gave a sure and sprinted out of the office to the living room connected to the entryway.

"Ria, I'm glad you want to help me, but can you please go wake up grandpa?" I gave a disappointed look to mom, but the puppy-dog eyes failed as per usual and I followed my brother in a similar sprint.

I missed a step on the stairs, but recovered with an awkward stumble and took it at only a slightly slower pace to Papa's room.

I pushed the slightly ajar door wider to allow my form to fit through and just barely got a glimpse of the old man's head as he climbed down the fire escape ladder.

I gave a shout and followed him.

The old man was running _fast_.

"Papa! Momma wants you when you're done escaping me!" I called after him, not even bothering to follow him. I would only get lost - with my luck.

The next few minutes I remembered clearly. I waited a minute outside, just inhaling the smell of nature - it's great when it's not trying to explode my head - and watching the neighbor's kids.

I turned around around and started climbing the ladder, too lazy to walk around front and started back to the office. I was going at a slow pace this time, and I wouldn't think of tripping at such a slow walk.

Well, I did.

It wasn't even over anything.

I tripped on a flat surface and hit my head on the floor because my hands were in my pockets. I gave a moan and rolled over onto my back, my hand bumping into the _ancient_ china-holding case that had a bunch of old family pictures on top. I cursed my luck at having two falls in one day just as I saw a flower vase that had been placed on top of the case recently start to shift.

It was a bit odd that I didn't even try to catch it, seeing as I had a history of volleyball, but I just watched as it fell through the air in slow motion.

Suffice to say, it hit me in the head - the heavy thing - and I didn't wake up from a concussion in a hospital, so I assumed I was dead.

So we go back to my theory, what happens when you die? There's a place afterwards?

Yes.

Where I found myself directly afterwards was what could only be described as a kinda-void. Only "kinda" because I saw a pinprick to the far front and could still register the thought that I saw one. But I couldn't move towards it, I only drifted at such a slow pace it felt like watching a countdown from-like-a hundred hours.

I could move away from it at a much faster pace if I willed it, but that only led me to get annoyed as I got further from the pinprick and had to wait all over again. Being myself, I never learn my lesson and I spent _forever_ walking away from the pinprick at the end of my patience. Eventually I started feeling really _cold_ and my skin was tingling.

At some point the thought registered that I could feel my body parts again, and the further I went from the light, the more I could _feel_ and _think_ and _move_.

I turned around to look for the pinprick, but could only see it if I wasn't looking at it directly- somewhat like when I used to stare at the light around the doorframe in the middle of the night.

So I shrugged it off and continued my path away, curiosity and dislike of waiting drawing me to the even darker darkness than the dark I saw in the first kinda-void.

It was an immeasurable amount of time before something changed, before I felt something other than myself. It could be a feeling akin to forever, but it wan't forever because forever is the entire length of time that never ends until reality ceases to exist. Infinity.

When I did feel that foreign experience, I felt some form of panic. I tried to move my arms, but they were secured, I tried to shift my legs to be more comfortable, but they, too, were immovable due to outside force.

My back was cold and I felt a breeze in places I usually have clothes. It didn't take long before I got uncomfortable. I began flexing my hands and jaw, the only thing I could really move.

Then I remembered I could see. I didn't like the view.

Above me was a steel ceiling, unnatural lights, a bit of a green glow and a familiar-but-not face that had a scientifically-curious expression that I didn't like. Notatall.

Then my instincts returned at a felt a healthy dose of fear and confusion rising with the tears.

A whimper escaped my throat and I saw surprise flit over the man's expression.

He shouted something over his shoulder and then left my field of vision. I turned my head and what I saw resembled a lab.

A question popped up among the fear.

 _Is it labra-tory or la-bora-tory? Second? It was spelled that way in Portal._

Then another.

 _Where's momma? I want momma._

And another.

 _I want cheetos. Can I have some cheetos?_

They followed a strand of emotions, moving in a cycle: curious, childish, normal, sad. Each time it passed, the emotions got more and more _intense_ , and I started feeling pained.

My head was _hurting_. If I could move my hands, I would be clutching my cranium as if the world was going to end, and I was the cause of it.

All at once, the mounting tension of my screams, the frantic beeping and shouts of the laboratory around me and the pain gathering in my skull all stopped in a blur of colors and light.

I opened my eyes to see trees surrounding me, and exhaustion drove my to go back to sleep without another thought.

* * *

 **-(O.O)-**

* * *

When I woke up, I still felt drowsy and my entire body _ached_ , not just like "I worked out last week and it still hurts," but "I walked seventy miles uphill yesterday carrying a boulder."

I used a tree to carry myself back to my feet and held the heel of my free palm to push into my eye as ice picks attacked. A hiss escaped my teeth and I stared down at my feet to stop the sudden vertigo.

As the wave of _blech_ faded away, I wiggled my toes and almost blanched at the fact they were a lot smaller than I remembered. I stretched an arm out in front of myself and glared accusingly at the smallnesss of it.

"Why am I a flippin' baby?!" My voice was a lot higher and a heck of a lot squeakier.

"Whyyyyyyyy?" This was me after I tried and failed to somehow teleport myself back to my home.

At this point, I almost rather wake up in a hospital bed, fresh out of a ten-year coma. Now, though, I was a chibi. A skinny, unhealthy chibi who just looked at her reflection a few moments ago.

My eyes were freakishly disproportionate to my face to _start_ with, not even cute at their hugeness. To continue, they were flippin' _red_ to match my now _purple_ hair. My _long_ , _previously brown_ purple hair. I was freaked out by all of this, but the most disappointing thing was definitely the fact I was now, like, _five_. Not mentally, I was still my smart (not) fifteen year-old self on the inside.

I wasn't _really_ five, that's just an exaggeration driven by my freaked out mind. I was about nine or ten... physically.

After I had calmed down, I sat down by the puddle I'd been using and planted my elbows on my raised knees and my chin in my hands.

 _This sucks. How am I gonna get home to mom and dad and Chris and Alex and James and..._

 _Stop!_ I slapped myself across the face and shook myself, driving the thoughts of home from my mind.

At my once again frustrated silence, I heard something. The noise registered as familiar, but I couldn't identify it. I shoved out of a bush that rimmed the edge of the forest ( _How come I didn't see that earlier?_ ) and landed on the twilight road feet first ( _ow_ ).

I followed the sound as if in a daze, the fact I had found civilization not registering as significant. The aching in my body was fading a bit as I frantically looked for the sound of the noise that echoed in my head.

I stumbled a bit as I stepped over a slope at a run and spotted a head of unique hair.

 _Who is he?_

The person-it was a child. The sound I'd been hearing was coming through my ears instead of mind this time, the boy was crying.

I slowed to a wobbly walk ( _ow, ow, ow_ ) and crouched next to him eventually.

"Why are you crying?" I asked him, rubbing his back and looking at the water a few feet away, as if it would answer me.

He sniffled and turned his face to look at me, brown eyes filled with tears and nose running with snot, "Who are you? Are you real?"

I blinked, "If I weren't, I wouldn't be touching you. My name is R-" I paused, my face screwing up as I wondered why my name wouldn't go past my lips, "My name is Neah."

The smile on my face froze.

 _What the fff-udge, Ria?! Why are you stealing anime names again?!_

"Oh, I'm Ichigo." I smiled at him again, torn from my inner issues.

He was still looking a bit sad and confused when I spoke again, "Do you want to tell me what's wrong, Ichigo?"

His face scrunched up and a few more tears started building up again, "My kaachan."

The way he was looking at the river, I understood, "What about your tousan?" I asked, not questioning the fact I was speaking in Japanese rather than English.

"He's at home with my sisters."

I smiled at him and rubbed his back some more, "Do you want to go home?"

His eyes snapped up to mine, pleading me to let him stay.

I nodded and crouched next to him, hugging my knees. I stared at the water with him, occasionally glancing at his face to wonder why he looked so darn familiar.

He eventually fell asleep next to the water and I left, watching him closely from behind a trashcan up by the road. His father came to get him eventually, carrying him home as I watched and wondered why they looked so much like people I knew.

* * *

 **-(O.O)-**

* * *

I had met the boy, Ichigo, a grand total of two weeks ago. In that time, I had watched him search for me at the riverside everyday. Why didn't I go see him?

Well, to start with, I hadn't acquired any clothes. I then found clothes ( _ahhh, my morals are shot for stealing_ ) and began begging for food from different places, or I just went hungry when someone would ignore me or refuse and suggest they call my parents.

Still, though, I couldn't face him. The reason he had looked so familiar came up in my dreams. I had decided tentatively that I was in Karakura Town, the very same one that's within the series of Bleach.

I had dreamed about an older Ichigo fighting hollows, people, and otherwise kicking serious _butt_. Of course, I did some sneaking around and started looking for clues that this was true. It was, oh it was.

Truly, however, I held an irrational fear of changing something merely by interacting with the small child that is currently swinging his head back and forth, looking for me.

I tried to tell myself that I wouldn't hurt anything by merely interacting with him, but the fear was there and it didn't seem like it would be going away anytime soon. I even contemplated the fact that it wouldn't matter if I _did_ change something, and if I was strong enough, than I could tale those changes head-on and not have to worry about the death of a character.

 _But how do I get strong enough to be on par with the main character of a mainstream anime? What if I can't even see ghosts? What if someone dies anyway even if I do get strong? What if I steal away someones role? What if...?_

So I didn't go down and talk to him. I _didn't_ go comfort him and become a new friend. _I didn't care enough about someone else to push past my fear._

Until. I.

Did.

A whole two months after I began this new, monotonous lifestyle of watching a boy with orange hair come down to the river (only after he was done with school the last week or two) and search along its length for the young girl his age that comforted him one night not-so-long ago as he was grieving. A whole _two months_.

It took me that long of long days to work through my thoughts and worries before I decdied I had enough time to learn how to fight, I had enough time to prepare myself before everything really starts. I stepped out of my niche between two buildings and stepped down the slope. I planted my butt right there, waiting for him to show up.

 _I guess he went to school today. I could've sworn it was a weekend._

As the thought crossed my mind, I heard a shout from my back left. I turned just in time to see orange hair before I was knocked onto my back by a very impressive glomp.

I sat up with a giggle and patted his back awkwardly, before noticing he wasn't the only one that showed up this time. I saw two young girls, one with black hair and the other with orange, and a tall man with black hair and a stubble.

"Ah, hello, Ichigo, sorry I couldn't see you this past while." I gave an uncomfortable cough and felt my face heat up as I tried to wiggle out of his death grip.

"Neah!" I shot to attention, listening raptly as he pulled away with a small smile and pointed at the people behind him, "I want you to meet my family!"

* * *

 **Omake: Stealing Names**

Ria was somewhat awkward when it came to social interactions with people she didn't know, so she tended to mess up little things - like her name.

She had just received a new doctor when the question came, "It's very nice to meet you, what's your name?"

Being herself, she twitched and replied, "Jennifer."

Suffice to say, the doctor and her father were rather confused.

The check up wasn't the only time this had happened.

She had been at summer camp and the group was playing ice-breakers to get to know each others names for the week-long duration of their stay. The game was to say something you like that starts with the first letter of your name and then say your name.

It got to her and she couldn't just _say_ it like a normal person, but yelled, "I like Allen and my name is rain!"

The game halted for a moment for everyon to look at her and she played it off as a joke, everyone calling her Rain after that.

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 **-(O.O)-**

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 **There concludes the beginning of my rewritten story previously titled "Pandora's Dream". The story is nothing alike, so if you didn't get to read the first version, I wouldn't be too disappointed. There are similar themes I wanted to implement and the plotline will have a few similar scenes, but they will be much better written than before.**

 **Send me a review? This prologue took effort, first impressions are important.**

 **Stay happy and stay awesome!**


	2. Chapter 2- The End

**Disclaimer: The world does not revolve around me, no matter how much I wish it would. Therefore, I must claim to not own Bleach.**

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 **Chapter 2- The End**

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It would be great if I was accepted into the Kurosaki family and be allowed to live with them. It was close to happening, as my puppy-dog eyes and guilt-tripping _do_ work on Kurosaki senior.

The deal was to send out a report that I was found on the street and being treated for injuries, inviting my family to step forward. If no one came by in three weeks, I would stay with the Kurosaki family for an indefinite amount of time and be taken in as an employee when I reached a proper age to work.

Don't ask me how all of this was legal. I don't know Japanese laws, and even then this was probably not all within proper procedure.

It didn't even take _two days_ before a distraught couple came to their doorstep from _way_ across town and was wanting a look at me to see if I was their child.

When I came downstairs from Ichigo's room (Karin and Yuzu were polite but wary, and the boy was rather attached to me despite the fact I hadn't even talked to him for more than a combined three and a half days) and saw the two of them, I knew I was related if only physically.

If I pretended to know them for who they were or if I claimed to feel an impossible connection to them, I would be the liar of the year. They looked like nice people, but I felt no immediate love for the two of them.

My chest ached a bit when I first saw them, but there were no magical flashes of memory or some kind of alter ego in my head that belonged to the ten year-old child my consciousness was linked to.

So, when I stepped into the living room, I gave them both a good look, preparing to act.

My mother was wearing an apron with a name tag on her left chest that read " _Hikari, Manager_." She had long brown hair that was tied in a loose pony tail and hung over her right shoulder. She had maroon eyes and I could tell my delicate face shape came from her.

My father had short purple hair in an interesting hairstyle. He had three braids on the left side of his head, the right side was shaved and the top was spiked messily. His eyes were a very natural color of _crimson_. His outfit was... _unique_ to say the least. He was wearing long, black pants that were decorated up the side with silver metal dots and a silver chain ran from his front left pocket to his back left. His shirt was a button-up lavender dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows- displaying some impressive tattoos- and he had a dark green vest with emerald swirls on it. I couldn't tell his profession, but this guy looked freakin' awesome.

 _It was probably awkward I spent so long staring at his clothing._

"Aa, hello," I finally said, giving a small wave and a nervous smile.

Hikari's- no- mom's face lit up and her eyes glistened dangerously as she stood up and ran towards me with her arms outstretched. My muscles betrayed my sudden panic and I melted when she had her arms around me, "Haruka, sweetie. Where were you?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Isshin give a nod to father and then corral his children out of the room to give us some privacy. I assumed that all of the details of what the man had gathered had already been passed over to my new guardians.

* * *

It was a little disappointing when the only goodbye I was able to give Ichigo was a tiny wave at his window as I was hefted into the taxi.

My parents began speaking to each other with me between them, mom going first, "I'll call in and take off the rest of the week."

"Shiro won't be happy with that."

"She'll just have to deal with it. I'm spending time with my baby," her arms tightened around me a bit, and the woman I assumed was usually quiet and collected was now fierce and unyeilding.

The man on my other side held up his hands in a calming gesture, an amused twitch at the corner of his mouth, "Maa, maa, Hikari, don't bite my head off for stating the obvious."

"Ano, tou-san?" I tilted my head as far back as I could to look at the tall man's face, "Where do you work?"

He looked a littl surprised, but gave a large grin, "I'm a police officer," he laughed at the look of disbelief I pinned him with and confessed, "You caught me, I'm a detective. A pretty good one at that."

I felt awe at the amount of pride in his voice, "Wow."

Both of them shared a mysterious look and laughed at my reaction. They tried talking business again, asking me if I remembered anything about them, but when I couldn't answer their questions in any way but frustration, they gave up and just told me about my room.

I could tell they were hurt by the fact I didn't remember anything about them, more like worried, but I could tell these people were just the regular doting parents that... lost their daughter.

The moral implecation of taking this poor girl's body was utterly painful. For all I knew, she was kidnapped or killed and here I was, pretending to be their daughter when I really wasn't. I didn't know if I wanted to accept their feelings either, it would sure be nice, but I would feel like I was ripping them off... or something. Not to mention I still had my own parents, even if I was- quite literally- dead to them at the moment.

Honestly, though, even with all the guilt I felt for being subject to their affections and gratefully accepting all of their words of care, there wasn't anything I could really do about being here. I sure as hell wasn't going to test it and see if I would pop up in a new universe after going back to that almost-void place. _Definitely_ not worth trying, not with the fact I had a chance to learn to fight _here_.

* * *

 ***-(O_O)-***

* * *

I fidgeted a bit in my seat at the dinner table later that day. The house was a _very_ nice three-story place in a wealthy neighborhood. I figured dad and/or mom made a lot of money to be able to afford the place.

My room had been temporarily been turned into a storage area for a bunch of files and antiques. It was definitely decorated for a young girl, everything was in pastel shades of pink, purple and blue. A few mythical creatures sat around it in plushie or picture form. This girl, Haruka, must have really liked horses and birds.

 _I mean, I do too._

My room was on the middle floor, the dining room was connected to the kitchen and living room. The house itself was built with lots of rooms, as if they had anticipated a large family. So, I sat in the kitchen as mom set out the dishes and dad fixed something that smelled _really_ good.

The table itself had two too-many chairs at it. Mom slid tiredly into the chair next to me, absently fixing her hair into a higher ponytail. I smiled awkwardly at her and she brushed some hair out of my face before rubbing my head lightly and smiling wearily at me.

"I can't help but wonder where you were that entire time."

"It's already been four years, right, Hikari?" Dad spoke up from the stove.

She lightly kissed me on the forehead, still looking rather sad.

 _Gah, this atmosphere is suffocating!_

"Well, I'm back now, right? Even if I don't remember all that much, I'm still your daughter and we can go through whatever happened together," I smiled up at their vaguely surprised faces, "That's what family is for, right?"

 _Why are they just staring at me like that?_

"Honey," the woman didn't look at her husband as she spoke, "Isn't this the first time we've heard her speak more that a few words at a time?"

I flushed and ducked my head in embarrassment.

"Don't _encourage_ her to be quiet!" Dad laughed and swung the pan off of the stove.

He served each plate at the table, which there was a plate at each seat.

"Why are there extra chairs, dad?"

The answer literally walked through the door.

 _I'm not an only child! I have siblings!_

I was a lot happier at the thought than I figured I would be. The teenager stopped in her tracks and let the boy following her bump into her back.

"Haru?" The boy popped his head out and it tilted curiously to the side.

I squirmed a bit, suddenly uncomfortable with the attention I was receiving, "H-hi. I guess I'm living here from now on."

The girl was still standing in the doorway, a stupid look stuck on her face and her arms still in place with her hands behind her head.

 _"What the fug."_

Mom burst into action, a red hue overtaking her face as dad burst out in giggles, "Watch your language, young lady!"

She gave a yelp and paled rapidly, "I said _pug_!"

The screech of anger from mom was so out of character I gave a little laugh myself. The show was amusing, mom chasing sister around the first floor with a butter knife in hand.

My brother entered the room, ignoring his sister and parent and seated himself in a chair, staring at the food with a hungry eye.

Dad sat down himself and put an elbow on the table, resting his chin on his hand as he watched the other girls of the house circle around for the third time.

The fifth time they passed through, my sister skidded into the seat beside me and grabbed the knife from beside her plate hurriedly. She was just in time to block a blow from our dear mother.

 _I have now decided to never make mom angry._

Her maroon eyes flared with red and yellow, power in her grip as she tried to punish her daughter for her words.

"Mom, please stop attacking nee-chan with a knife."

Mom turned her gaze to me, looking shockingly harmless all of a sudden _despite the fact she was attacking her daughter_ , "Never copy your nee-chan's language, ne, Haru-chan?"

I frantically nodded and scooted my chair a bit further away.

"Put down the knife, sweetie," dad's voice carried across the suddenly silent room.

I slowly turned my head to look at the man...

And very quickly decided I would rather get into an argument with dear old mom.

He wasn't even threatening, but he had this _aura_ that promised pain if not obeyed.

As the family quietly started eating, I warily eyed my family, waiting for another weird thing to happen.

"So, Shin, how was your day at school?" Dad was back to his normal, goofy self as if nothing had happened.

 _Note to self: Never anger either parent. You will encounter a fate worse than death._

My brother straightened and smiled back at dad, "I punched someone in the face."

 _Edit: Do not anger any of the family members, they are all terrifying._

Dad laughed again, before realizing his son wasn't joking. Then he stopped and looked at mom imploringly.

She sighed, "Who?"

"The principal's cousin's son. He was picking on one of my friends again," He didn't need prompting to continue with his tale, "I punched him again when he pulled a switchblade and tried to stab me. I was perfectly fine until one of the teachers came out. They called home a little while ago, but you weren't home so nee-chan helped me and acted like kaa-san."

"Attaboy!" Dad cheered, lightly nudging his shoulder and laughing.

Mom sighed and smiled at her daughter, "Thank you for helping your brother, Rika."

Her daughter just gave a yawn and nodded, digging her fork into dinner and shoving a bunch in her mouth. The way she lazily chewed reminded me of a cow.

 _Yeeeaaahh... I better keep that observation to myself._

Before dad could ask about sister's day she announced, "I skipped school again. Brat number three came back today from his suspension."

"Don't talk with food in your mouth," the half-hearted warning from mom went ignored.

Dad even spoke right over the end of her sentence, "The punk that called you a-" he broke off and cleared his throat before starting over, "The punk with the red hair?"

She nodded absently, her eyes half-open as she fought to stay awake.

The room went quiet with the sounds of eating.

 _This is good food._

"Thank you for dinner, tou-san." I spoke up happily, after almost inhaling half of the plate.

I got a beaming smile from him, "You're very welcome, Haru-chan~!"

Mom smiled as well, before playfully griping at teh other two, "Your sister has been kami-knows-where and yet she has better manners than both of you combined."

As if rehearsed, both of their voices rose in equal parts boredom and thankfulness, "Thank you very much for feeding us."

I laughed lightly at their reaction, and almost missed the happy looks the two siblings exchanged over the table.

Then came time to address the elephant in the room.

"So, we found Haruka," Mom started happily, before being cut off by a chain reaction of shouting.

Dad, who had gotten up to look in the freezer in the kitchen gave a shout of disappointment, which startled Rika who gave a shriek as she woke up from a sudden nap, and as if on cue Shin started yelling in a different language- in pain because he had slammed his funny bone on the back of the chair.

I stared at the three of them, then looking over at mom and she looked a little annoyed, but her patience held. She gave a sigh and smiled at me apologetically. I giggled, the hilarity catching up, and I found myself growing fond of this group of weirdos.

 _I'm a part of something like this, now._ Me _the nervous mess that can't even remember her own name sometimes._

The screaming stopped, but Shin continued to mutter under his breath and rub his elbow.

"Where'd you get her?" Rika was awake now, curiously examining me.

"I woke up on the road and found Ichi-kun. Than Kurosaki-san sent out a message that said where I was," I explained, as childishly as I could muster without sounding stupid.

"Where were you before that?"

I ducked my head a bit, giving a shy smile, "Ah, amnesia. That's what Kurosaki-san said, anyway."

Dad cut in with a bit grin and a huge bowl of strawberry ice cream, "Which means we're going to do everything we can to help my little girl remember who she is, who we are, and what her place is in our lives."

I smiled shamelessly back at him and hugged his outstretched arm, enjoying the warmth that emanated from him.

 _I don't feel too good all of a sudden, but I can't tell if it's because I'm still guilty or because I willingly ate_ onions _\- of all things- for dinner._

In chorus as dad kissed my hair, everyone spoke with a smile, "Welcome home."

I ignored the pang in my chest as I saw a shadow of my old family behind them and replied, "I'm home."

* * *

 ***-(O_O)-***

* * *

Three years later, I was sitting on a bench with my sister beside me. We were idly licking ice cream cones after practice at the dojo. As per usual, my entire body _hurt_ , but that was just what it takes to be good at fighting. Hard work, determination and some kind of strategy.

Rika was just as tired as myself. She would be fine if she could get the technique down that we were learning, but she was self-taught to fight, and honed her skills in street fights where anything goes. She tended to resort to downright _dirty_ tactics when she came close to winning. This ended up with her getting more work than strictly necessary.

She was far ahead of me physically, but I learned that if I used my brain and predicted her next moves, I could beat her in a fair match when she _didn't_ cheat with a weapon.

Still, though, she had almost four years of a head start on me in professional training, not to mention she was- like- _born_ to fight everything that can talk back to her and get in her way.

She heaved a sigh and turned to lean her back on the bottom of the bench- taking up the rest of the space on it- and swung her legs onto my thighs, ignoring my grunt when she "accidentally" hit me in the stomach.

"Why do you do this to me?" I moaned letting my head fall over the back, trying in vain to ignore the pain coming from my pressured, sore thighs.

She just snickered and purposefully kicked me in the stomach again. Another place that was sore.

 _It would be so nice if she could remain in a quiet, non-threatening mood for more than half an hour on end while in public. There's no need to glare at every other child she sees with their parents._

Our parents were absolutely busy. Mom got a massive promotion, which meant she had to be away for more hours every day. Dad was on a case ninety-percent of the time, and his job didn't care about holidays like mom's. It was a change from when I was still Ria.

My mom used to be home almost all the time, because she worked from home, and dad would only be gone for about nine hours everyday but Saturday.

This time around, I spent a lot less time with my parents, but I loved them just as much ( _even if I still felt a bit guilty, that would unfortunately never change_ ). I hadn't met any grandparents, and it felt like something was missing because of that, but I just had to remind myself I had who I had and I was fine again.

Even though it had been _three years_ \- which was pretty hard to believe- I felt like I had left only a few days ago. This feeling contradicted the fact it was getting harder to remember my elders. I ould still freshly remember the voices and faces of my siblings, but momma and dad were sinking away.

Despite my own feelings, my plans for the canon of where I now resided were already being put into action. I was too hesitant and unclear of how to change things directly to do anything but prepare. The question of my sight was answered when a translucent menace had floated into the house one day we were all at home at relaxing.

I had been in the dining room, minding my own business as I drew flowers as I watched the television that was running in the living room.

Imagine my surprise when I looked back down at my drawing to find a _head_ sittting there, staring at me.

I screamed and threw my pencil at it before running into the living room to hide behind my sister.

The rest of my kin had been in there, by coincidence as a few were moving around instead of being lazy in front of a screen. The figure came floating into the room through the wall. This was the day I learned all of my family could see spirits.

Mom "eep"ed as dad stared at in disbelief. Rika was asleep while standing up again and Shin had dropped his phone from his startled grasp. I pointed at it, screaming to knock them all out of their funk, "Ghost!"

The man floating there looked very offended, "It's rude to point, you know."

Only when the floating _thing_ had spoken did the household begin to _freak the hell out_. Shin got away with screaming cusswords in a different language, German I think it was, and Rika- surprisingly- didn't get immediately in trouble for belting out a few obscenities herself before quickly changing into fake curses.

Even dad dropped an f-bomb before mom went into action and ran at the specter with a picture frame that had been in her hands at the time.

We didn't actually affect the being with the objects that were chucked at him, but he did eventually leave in annoyance. I, unfotrtunately, had to help clean up the thrown objects (that were dead-on in accuracy, I didn't want to fight dad in a knife-throwing battle) even though I had just cowered behind Rika the entire time.

When the hype from the chaos had ended, I went back into the kitchen to finish my drawing with a yawn. I found myself staring at the picture of a flower I'd drawn, before I flipped it over and started drawing a person instead.

That was when I was eleven. There hadn't been any occurances since, and I was a bit frustrated by the fact I had almost literally hit a brick wall in my progress to trying to unlock soul reaper powers in some way or contact my Zanpakuto if possible. I decided I wasn't able to contact my inner self until I becam a soul reaper, and I couldn't become a soul reaper until my soul was knocked out of my body.

I didn't want to see how to do as such. I was feeling selfish and happy to just waste away the time getting there with my new family.

I hadn't quite given up my hopes of changing things, but without a constant reminder that I was supposed to help, it was easy to forget it would happen and just sink into what I was doing here with my family.

My mind couldn't stay where it was, though.

As I shared a wordless moment with my big sister, a roar shook the very ground beneath us. I shoved the last piece of cone into my mouth and shoved my sister's legs off of me, rising to my feet before she even knew what was happening.

I widened my stance, looking around for the source of the _pressure_ that pounded on my shoulders painfully. The normal people had cleared away, probably becasue it felt like damn _explosion_ when that roar ripped through. I turned my head left and right, up and down, searching for the monster that I could _feel_ nearby.

A drop kick to the back and a shout of, "Look out!" Alerted me that my sister was perfectly aware of the danger we were currently in.

On instict, I rolled to the side and avoided a heavy hit that sent me flying. I landed in a skid with my arms in an X in front of my face so I could somewhat protect my face and reach out in a punch if need be while I examined the field of the current scuffle. I gave a strangled gargle when something slammed into my back and sent me towards the ground forehead first.

My vision went temporarily black before I climbed back to my feet and _lunged_ forward just barely avoiding another blow.

I took that chance to look at something other than the dust and whipped towards my attacker. The creature before me was a shining example of the typical hollow. It was humanoid with blades for arms and had a large hole straigt through its chest.

"Holy _crap_!" I screamed before running as it gave terrifying chase.

Well, running wasn't exactly a good idea, because I felt a sharp pain in my back and chest before I hit the ground face-first again.

I clambered to my feet, shaking violently. I was suddenly _very_ cold. My eyes, as if controlled, looked downdo _wndown_ until they saw and acknowledged the form bleeding out on the ground. I was staring at a purple-haired tween whose red eyes were wide and dulled, staring at something far into the distance, who just so happened to have a _massive crimson hole_ where her heart should have been.

 _Crap._

* * *

 ***-(O_O)-***

* * *

 **Well, that went longer than I anticipated, but once she gets thinking, she just** _ **doesn't stop**_ **until something that was** _ **supposed to**_ **happen next chapter pops up ahead of time.**

 **Review, maybe? It would be pretty nice to know what someone who's reading the words from my head thinks.**

 **Stay awesome!^^**


	3. Chapter 3- Neah-Death Experience

**Disclaimer: I am the self-proclaimed ruler of the world, yet I do not own Bleach in any way. Sadly.**

 **Warning: There is a fair amount of darker themes and blood in this chapter, as well as sexual actions implied. It isn't graphic or detailed, but you should be warned nonetheless.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3- Neah-Death Experience**

* * *

 **Last time:**

 _I clambered to my feet, shaking violently. I was suddenly very cold. My eyes, as if controlled, looked downdowndown until they saw and acknowledged the form bleeding out on the ground. I was staring at a purple-haired tween whose red eyes were wide and dulled, staring at something far into the distance._

 _Crap._

* * *

I was quickly knocked out of my daze, my eyes widening drastically as the reality sunk in.

 _I just freakin'_ died _!_

As I thought this, I ran away from the hollow that had just killed me. My whole body _ached_ and felt _heavy_ as I scrambled to escape the corrupted spirit chasing me. I glared venomously at the chain trailing from my chest and furiously picked up the pace as I practically felt another slam meet my heels.

There were sounds of a separate scuffle getting nearer, and I watched as Rika came flying past me, injured but not near as dead as myself.

 _At least now I know dying to escape to another universe wouldn't have worked... BUT I'M STILL FLIPPIN' DEAD!_

My sister took a look at me, then at the form on the ground as the two hollows that had tumbled into each other scrambled to separate. Her eyes widened dramatically and she gaped like a fish.

"Aa, sorry, nee-chan. I guess I just died."

Her mouth continued to open and close rapidly before she threw a punch at me. I flinched, but it went right through me. I smiled apologetically before ducking under a flailing arm, "Now's not really the time to be angry at me, Rika-nee, there's a few issues right there that are threatening to murder us.

I ducked under another dark limb and turned to face fate. I took a running jump at the two struggling hollows and used my momentum from falling and running to slam my heel into the mask of one of the one on its back.

To my utter shock, the ceramic-like object shattered and the hollow disappeared into an ash-like substance. The other hollow hit the ground then rose up to its intimidating size and charged me. I had learned my lesson this time, and instead of turning and running, I ducked under its massive arm and kept my front to it.

I kicked as hard as I could into the back of its knee. It didn't fall over as I had hoped, but it did stumble enough to give Rika a chance to run... but she _of course_ wouldn't just run.

She took initiative and jumped to aim a punch at the face. It cracked, but didn't shatter like the other one. The only theory I had for this was the fact I was currently using spirit energy to attack, which gave me an advantage. While _she_ was only using a small amount of spirit imbued physical strength subconsciously.

Speaking of which, she looked rather annoyed that the punch had little affect. I smiled a bit at her expression, but I didn't really feel all that humored after the previous events of the hour. As the hollow let loose a scream and attacked in a frenzied way, I decided it was _not_ funny that sis had failed to kill it.

Before it could go much farther after sis, I kicked it in the leg again, but it only stumbled a bit this time. And turned around to face me in its anger, I felt myself grow even colder in sudden fear and I ducked under a few wild swings placed for decapitation.

"AHHHHHHAHAA!" I yelled as I did an impromptu backflip to dodge a slam and ended up on my feet again- for once.

...Then stumbled and landed on my butt just as an arm-blade crashed right between my legs and got lodged in the ground.

My eyes were popping out of my skull as I scrambled to one side. As the beast struggled, I took my chance as it stupidly tried to remove its limb and aimed a punch at its face. At the same time, Rika came from behind and drop-kicked the back of its head.

The effect was immediate. Shattering ceramic was really satisfying when something had just been trying to double-kill you. The ash-like substance floated away on the wind and I felt a rush of exhaustion, lightly swaying in my spot.

Rika tried to catch me, but instead I drifted right through her. I stumbled but kept my balance and chose to walk over to the body that was laying on the ground. A frown drew at my face as I stared at myself, the body I'd taken from a family. The body that led to me becoming part of a new family.

"Hello, there." My eyes followed from a pair of shoes to a hat. I stared at the hat, finding it _very_ familiar, "Good evening, isn't it?" In the dimming light still, that _hat_ taunted my memories, "I suppose I'll cut to the chase, you're dying and I have a way to fix that," _where do I know that hat from?_ "So, a little proposition should we say, to save your life and your connection to your dear family," _What was it? Geth-Gen-Getaboat-Getaboushi? Hat-and-clogs in Japanese_ , "Um, kid, my eyes are down here."

I jumped and stopped staring at the tauntingly familiar hat, "Neah," I corrected automatically, "My name is Neah."

Rika, behind me, looked a little confused but went along with it.

The man before me, his name still evaded my mind, looked a little confused, "Okay, Neah-chan, did you hear anything I just said?"

"You're making a deal to keep my physical form from dying, correct?"

He nodded, "Let's hear your answer then."

Rika leaned close to my ear, "Don't trust him, imouto."

I shook her off, "I know this has a catch. I'll decide if I want to remain as dead as I am now or take your deal after I hear what my side of this arrangement will be."

He looked a bit surprised for a moment before tilting his hat down to shadow his eyes and grinned mysteriously, "Smart kid. It's a minor thing, really, you just have to keep fighting these little buggers until you reach the age of seventeen. I'll train you how, of course."

I looked at the body on the ground, then turned to Rika and smiled at her reassuringly before nodding at Bucket-hat and following him as he picked up my physical form.

* * *

 ***~(^V^)~***

* * *

I was amazed that the man had even been able to patch up the huge hole in my chest (metaphorically, of course) and start my heart again. He had probably used kido for it at some point, but I felt really detatched as I lightly floated an inch or two off of the ground.

"Neah-chan!" The starting-to-get-annoyed voice of the-man-whose-name-I-could-not-remember-at-the-moment drew me back to reality.

"What was your name again?" I asked, totally off topic from whatever he was talking about. A buzzing sound made me swat the air beside my ear again, despite the fact there wasn't any bugs- as whats-his-name assured repeatedly when I asked.

"Kisuke Urahara." I blinked as the name and the face connected.

"Oh."

He looked at me a little funny before leading me out of the guest room where my spirit was laying to a basement room I immediately recognized from the anime. It was a huge place.

I fidgeted a bit as I watched Geta-boshi pull a tarp off of a huge pit in the ground.

"Are you going to push me into there?" I asked, wanting to inch away. I was _not_ a fan of heights I could fall from.

He turned around and smiled innocently, "It's not like it's untested."

 _It's untested, it's_ totally _untested._

"Ano, I don't want to fall in there, so I think I'm gonna-" I tried to take off at a run, but the hand suddenly on my shoulder threw me in while the one handling Benihime sliced throungh the chain protruding from my core.

No, I didn't scream all the way down. I let out a battle cry as I raced to fight the ground far, _far_ below me.

 _Holy crap, I'm still falling._

Then I hit the ground with a thud and was perfectly fine. Sure, it felt like something cracked, but I was currently a _dead_ ghost, so I was likely okay.

I pushed myself onto my butt and looked up at the dot of light above. Kisuke's face came into view and he called down happily, "Are you alright?"

"No thanks to you!"

With that I crossed my arms and took a deep breath, closing my eyes. I might as well try and meditate so I can attempt to gain some kind of powers. Then my concentration was derailed as I realized I had no instruction whatsoever.

I shouted at the top, "Hey, old man!" There was an offended noise before I continued, "What am I supposed to be doing down here?!"

"Become a soul reaper!"

"How the _fudge_ am I supposed to do that?"

"Follow your heart!"

The following obscenities were the only time I had ever cussed in front of an adult, and would likely be the last. The man up top merely giggled _freaking giggled_ and left me to my devices. I tried to calm down and go back to concentrating on meditating- which was hard.

It must've been hours of me sitting there and trying in vain to clear my mind before I found myself giving up and opening my eyes- only to see I was now surrounded by oddly colored trees. They were patterend in interesting ways like plaid, patches, stripes, even textured in such a manner. It was stupidly colorful and a bit irritating. I was probably in my inner world, though, so I wasn't gonna complain.

 _Why does my world look like this?_ I reached my hand forward to touch the nearest tree, a blanket-texture in the form of my favorite quilt from Before. As my hand came to rest on it, my whole arm sank in to the shoulder before I caught myself and tried pulling away. Colors flashed before my eyes and I was remembering every time I flopped into bed after a long day of school, or after a hike with my father. _So the trees are a compilation of memories._

I yanked my arm out and touched another tree right by the first. It was black and dead with flames of purple on the occasional twig. In hindsight, what it stood for was obvious.

My entire torso sank into the skin and it was like watching a movie. A horrifying, M-rated, blood and gore-filled movie about a six year-old girl.

I was standing on a street as it was raining, the girl had just left school after spending a bit too long at the library and she was returning home. It was a bit past eight and her parents would be undoubtedly worried. With that thought in mind, she picked up the pace a bit.

 _I wonder what tou-chan made for dinner today! Maybe Rika will be uninjured for once, too, so mom won't be yelling at anyone._

She smiled at the thought and continued across the road. Just as she stepped over the opposite curb, the light turned green and there was the roar of an engine as a banged up white van sped around the corner of the alley.

She looked up in surprise and backed a bit further from the road as the van stated screeching to a halt. _Right next to her._

 _I need to call-_

She pulled her phone out and pressed the emergency button before a man flew from one of the open doors and grabbed her upper arm, pulling her into the van. Her phone clattered to the ground, still dialing her mom's phone as the van sped off again into the night.

I felt horror overcome me as my mind started thinking of all of the possibilities as to what might happen to her. As my mind ran wild, the scene changed and I was staring at a damp, dark room lit by nothing but a television screen.

Three unshaven men sat on a torn up sofa drinking some miscellaneous alcoholic liquid while laughing and talking about some lady they'd seen earlier that day. In the back of the room was a skeletally thin young girl of seven who was covered in bruises and scrapes.

One of the men, a very familiar one, spoke up above the other two, "It's the brat's own fault! Her pops shouldn't've put my pops and me in jail."

I felt sickness rise in me as my hands rose to cover my mouth in horror.

The scene change again to a thin and pale and bruised eight year-old running and running and _runningrunning_ from something terrifying. A gunshot echoed and something skimmed by her leg, causing her to stumble. Panic and terror covered her face, quickly followed by agony. She fell to her knees and clutched her head as her voice called out into a _scream_.

There was a flash of light and everything was just... gone. The scene disappeared into black and I stood in darkness. Back to standing in that void I remembered in the depths of the time after I died. The light was there, a lot closer than I remembered and shining brightly.

The child climbed back to her feet, her injuries healing as she stood there. She took one step, looking back briefly at the darkness behind her, before walking steadily towards the light. She followed the warmth it emitted and with a sigh and a sad smile, she turned to look at me while mouthing something. My mouth gaped stupidly as tears fell down my face and I felt pain knowing she left without seeing her dear family again.

 _Knowing she gave up her body for_ me _, the idiot who got hit in the head with a vase._

I stumbled out of the tree, landing heavily on my rear end, tears still rushing down my cheeks. I spent the next while curled in a ball and sobbing in an ugly way as rain pounded angrily at me and the ground around me.

When the tears dried up and I could stand again on my weak legs, I returned to the subject at hand. I let my feet carry me around the trees, looking for one that might lead to the zanpakuto I knew could be somewhere in my soul. That I _hoped_ was somewhere in my soul.

The rain slowed to just heavy, dark clouds that threatened to spill over again if I didn't keep myself occupied. I found the tree that held memories of the anime, but I neglected looking at them so I didn't accidentally link me and Ichigo together by- like- using his abilities and copying him?

 _It makes more sense in thought form than in words._

I mean, it happened to Orihime, right? Or is that completely different?

I frowned and started walking away from the anime tree. It had a glass skin and was playing the first episode on it. Taking a different turn on it, I closed my eyes and let the light tugging sensation at my chest lead me. I bumped into a few trees and refreshed some memories of my siblings and my school from Before.

My feet led my to a cliff. There was a waterfall disappearing into a few large clouds and vines grew up and down the cliff, smooth, sturdy and purple. There weren't any clouds floating nearby, so I sat on the edge and turned around to grab a vine.

I hissed in pain as it felt like thorns were digging into my hands the longer I held on. Everywhere that touched a vine split open - and started bleeding depending on how long it was in contact. I bit back hissed cusswords and stuck to saying "platypus" and "octopedes" over and over again to distract myself. I even went as far as spelling supercalifragi-something as well a I could remember, forwards and backwards. Just to try and ignore the pain in my hands and feet.

It started getting even harder, because the air was definitely thinner, I was starting to see how far down it was possible to fall and the vines were getting slick with my own blood. A rather morbid thing to happen when considering the fact there weren't any _actual_ thorns on the vines.

After what felt like _days_ of climbing, I felt the bottom under my torn feet and I immediately stumbled to lean against the wall behind me. Pain informed me I needed to move, and I began the long trek down the length of the dark floor.

The area around me was shadowed, with the only light being an odd circle on the floor around me that followed where I went. There was a faint glow coming from some other source, but I couldn't find it. In addition, there was a small trickle of water that I was subconsciously following, the only sound besides my footsteps. The air smelled like fresh flowers and grass, but it was dry and heavy.

As I continued to limp along, a dull blue fuzz appeared in front of me. At first I thought it might have been a creature, but as I got closer, it was the opening to a cave. When I reached it, I saw it was bioluminescent fungi coating the mouth of it and the ceiling down the way. I walked into the cave and followed the glowing mushrooms, the light slowly getting brighter and brighter.

The trail of stars- as I would stubbornly call it for the next while- led me to a much larger cavern that was _filled_ with jagged and soft crystals alike that glowed on their own, not even a pinprick of light origin to be seen.

I stood in the center of the cavern, my gaze drawn to the shimmering ceiling. I was surprised I could imagine something as beautiful as this, because _I_ sure hadn't seen something this pretty in my life. As I followed a particularaly bright line of red glitter, I found myself looking at a very dungeon-like pedestal that had a _scythe_ of all things placed in it. The bottom end of the scythe looked very... stabby, and was lodged in the grey stone of the pedestal.

The handle - hilt? - of the scythe was light purple, lavender practically, and held up a _massive_ blade of scarlet metal that curved into a crescent. I walked over to the scythe and looked at its amazingness with awe.

 _This is my zanpakuto? A flippin' scythe?_

I reached forward to touch it, and my fingertips lovingly ran down the smooth surface of the blade as awe shone in my chest and eyes.

A laugh came from my left and I jerked my head to the side to stare at a being. I could almost feel the sweatdrop as I stared at the person before me. To start with, they were dressed skimpily in female clothes, and secondly the were very much _male_.

He was undoubtedly handsome-beautiful, with crimson hair flowing to his mid back like blood, violet eyes glinting mischievously, toned muscles but he's still thin and feminine. As I stared, he walked closer with a swish in his hips and leaned over me- _curse my height!_ \- and tilted my head a bit further with one delicate hand.

"You're a beauty." He smiled flirtatiously and winked, the insinuation of his eyebrows driving my face to heat up dangerously. He kissed my nose and wrapped his arms around my back, to place his hands on my hips as if we were about to dance.

My embarrassment faded as I watched him, questions rising back to the surface, "Are you my zanpakuto?"

"One of them." He asnwered as he looked me up and down again.

It was a bit awkward to have him doing that, because never in either of my lives had someone of either gender openly _flirted_ with me, "If you're a part of my soul, why are you male?"

He laughed again, his deep voice turning into a higher one and with a poof of smoke, a- it's the only way to describe her- sexy woman with _very_ generous curves was the one hugging me. Her chest was in my face, and she was dipping down to kiss my nose again.

"I woud like to requset you turn back into a male. The clothes you're wearing only make it worse." I spoke with a squeak, my face heating up again.

She was back as a he again, laughing at me once more, "So, when are you going to grab me, Haru-chan? You still need to find -, you know."

 _Oh, that's right, I can't hear their names because I'm not worthy(?) of them yet._

"Could you try not to put insinuations into everything you say?"

"But I'm the embodiment of your love for fighting, your wall against pain and your overall natural instincts. Like lust."

I stared at him, "Fine, do what you want."

He cheered and followed me as I yanked the scythe from its place and started walking out. On instinct, I placed my scythe on my back, the click it made with the holder that was suddenly there was satisfying.

My zanpakuto didn't return to the scythe, but instead followed me around as I headed back into the canyon... that wasn't a canyon anymore. The closed walls were now a flower field that was at the same height as the cliff I had climbed down from. I stopped and breathed in the fresh air, feeling relaxed for the first time since I entered my inner world. The forests were to my right and the river flower to my left, leading towards the largest tree.

I looked up at it and my mind immediately snapped the reference into place, "Yggdrasil?" My scythe gave me a confused look, "The tree of life." The explanation left him more confused, but I ignored him and started following the river.

The grass under my feet healed the slices and bruises from the climb down the cliff as I followed the silver water to the tree at the core of my world.

* * *

 ***~(^o^)~***

* * *

 **There be that. This was pretty long, longer than I thought it would be. I fixed the first chapter where it said her hair was black. It's not black. It's purple, like her dad's. This was supposed to have one or two mysteries cleared up and one or two mysteries revealed for the reader to ponder.**

 **I know the scene that shows Haruka's death wasn't very clear, but I will reveal what really happened at a later date, so keep wondering. I'm also sorry this wasn't very happy.**

 **Anyway, drop a review and let me know what you thought of her scythe and its personality.**


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